Supporting an aging parent comes with a lot of moving parts, and the best thing you can do is ask questions. Good ones. The kind that help you understand what’s going on now and what’s coming next.
“At Curana Health, families often tell us how much they value the time our providers spend answering their questions, explaining things clearly, and making space for real conversations so everyone feels informed – not rushed.”
Ashley Woolfolk, FNP-C
As Ashley likes to say, “Preparation over panic.” To make sure you’re prepared to get the most out of each visit and build a stronger partnership with your parent’s care team, here are 10 questions you should consider.
Grouped by what you’re trying to find out. Click any question to jump straight to it.
01Can you help me understand their diagnosis?
02What symptoms should we watch for, and when should we report them?
03Can we review their medications together?
Questions 1–3
Before you can plan anything, you need a clear picture of the diagnosis, the day-to-day signs, and the medication list.
When your loved one has been enduring health symptoms, receiving a diagnosis can bring relief because you finally have a name for what was once unknown. But unless you’re a medical expert, there’s a good chance you’ll be left trying to decode what this diagnosis means for their current state and for the future. That is unless you ask questions.
Subtle changes can signal bigger issues. Ask what’s normal aging versus what warrants a call, and how quickly you should report concerns. Knowing the difference saves a lot of worry (and late‑night Googling).
Many older adults take a lot of medications and it’s important to know how they work individually and when mixed with other medications.
“Many of our patients are on multiple medications (average 10) which puts them at higher risk for drug interactions and for side effects that worsen as a person ages, so it’s super important for patients and their loved ones to become knowledgeable about the medications they’re on.”
Ashley Woolfolk, FNP-C
Questions 4–6
The conversations that are far easier to have early than in the middle of a crisis.
Hydration, nutrition, movement, cognitive stimulation — these daily habits matter. Ask what small actions, activities, or daily habits your loved one can do to support their health goals.
Behavioral Health, on-site care, palliative care, hospice, counseling, dementia support — families often don’t know what’s available to them or when it will become helpful for them.
“Timing is everything. Knowing not just what is available, but when those resources would be beneficial is key.”
Ashley Woolfolk, FNP-C
Advance care planning is the conversation people avoid … until they’re in a crisis wishing they’d had it sooner, preferably when their parent or loved one can still clearly express their wishes.
“I’m a big proponent of making sure that patients and their families are asking their providers to have advance care planning conversations to best prepare for the future. In cases such as individuals with early dementia, there’s a limited window for decision-making, but it doesn’t last forever. So, you have to act now.”
Ashley Woolfolk, FNP-C
Questions 7–10
The questions that decide how the next unexpected moment goes.
Families often assume hospitalization is always the safest choice. In reality, it can sometimes cause more harm than good.
“While we hope for the best, it’s important to be prepared for the worst. Knowing ahead of a medical emergency what the plan will be — when to go to the hospital versus when to treat in place — is how you avoid panic-mode decisions at 2 a.m. It also ensures that despite the panic, you’re making the right decision for your loved one.”
Ashley Woolfolk, FNP-C
Great care requires great communication. Ask how updates are shared, who contacts whom, and how everyone stays on the same page.
When a medical issue comes up, families aren’t always sure who they should contact. Is the primary care physician the right call or is it the specialist? Clarifying this upfront reduces stress and speeds up care, eliminating the need for playing “medical phone tag” during an already stressful moment.
Communication is one of the most meaningful parts of high-quality senior care. When families understand what’s happening medically, and what to expect next, they can make informed decisions, advocate confidently, and feel more connected to the people caring for someone they love.
Ask about communication style, frequency, and whether there’s a family portal because nothing beats knowing what’s going on without having to chase it down.
“The patient portal is a wonderful resource that’s designed to make it easier for families to get updates on their loved ones.”
Ashley Woolfolk, FNP-C
When you’re supporting an aging parent or loved one, every conversation with their care team counts. The right questions can help you understand what’s happening, feel confident in the plan, and stay connected to the people who are caring for the person you love.
“I’m always future-focused. There’s the here and now, but there’s also what to expect — and that’s just as important.”
Ashley Woolfolk, FNP-C
